Over the past 3 months, Chad and I have been looking for a new house, with plans to rent out the house we're currently in. Well, after sending Chad off on a run to one of my favorite local paths (I MADE him go to Pre's Trail. Someday, he might actually like running, so I'm just trying to encourage the transition). Anyway, after passing some houses along the bank, he came to realize that the house we currently have an offer on, isn't for us. That, and some other things, led us to change our plans altogether for now.
So, we're staying in our house. The decision was really abrupt. But, already, we know it is right.
The past several months, I haven't wanted to do anything to the house, knowing we would be moving soon. What was the point, right? Well, now we're not moving. It feels SOOOO good to know where we are going to be. It feels so good knowing I can have a huge garden this year. I have so many easy ideas for the house, to make it charming, and cozy and happy and homey and just our perfect little spot to curl up in...hhhmmmmm. I didn't realize what a big difference it would make.
I remember when we were "houseless," I'll call it. The Durfees generously let us live with them for 9 months. It felt so weird not having a place to call ours. There is a sense of displacement, when your name isn't on the lease, or the loan documents. You feel like you can't really move forward until you have your own space. What's the point of making it yours, when you're going to be leaving soon? For me, my environment, especially as a homemaker, is vital. I remember feeling like I couldn't thrive there because it wasn't mine, and not just the space. It was someone else's domain, with their own culture and habits, and was set up for the way that they enjoy living.
Well, thinking we were going to be moving these past few months has, in retrospect, has been a bit debilitating. The way you set up your home, makes a HUGE difference in how you live in it. I have such empathy for people who don't have their own space. I don't know why it's so important, but it effects us so much. I haven't wanted to set up our home, or improve it, because we were just gonna up-and-leave soon. But now, NOW, I can! I can set up those shelves in Aijah's room, so she doesn't have clutter every where. I can paint this, and change that, and know that it will look good, and that certain things will fit here, and be great for certain activities there etc.
I get to set up our home for exactly how I want to live in it! Yes! I can get that basket for my workout stuff (because I know where it will go, and I won't have to see my stupid weights in the living room anymore), I can finally bring the piano in from the garage, I can set up my lights over the deck and make that space more private for yoga. You see what I'm saying? I can make it just how I want it. Thinking we were leaving has forced me to hold back, but I don't have to anymore, and it feels so wonderful. I'm so excited to live here longer. Yay! It's going to be the best summer of my whole life. That's sounds naive and silly, but it is. Okay, okay. I'm excited for so many great plans this summer. There. Now, is something terrible happens, I won't be so let down. : )